7 Months

It's crazy to think how far we've come since that day that I saw those two pink lines on that stick.  Many days of sickness have passed, many moments of joy.  Many tears, both of happiness and sadness.  Many doctor's visits, pictures, work days, and lazy Saturdays.  Many moments that begin to fade away, and a few we will never forget.  Literally, months have passed us by.  So much has happened to bring us to where we are today.  The truth is that pregnancy has been hard.  It's been hard on me physically.  Becoming so big isn't really something that anybody is comfortable with.  Even though I know it's for a good cause, it's still hard to see my body transform.  Thanks to your amazing Daddy, I don't doubt that he thinks I am still beautiful.  He loves the pregnant me.  But I still have a hard time accepting pregnant me.  Not only does my body look different, but it works differently than it did before there was a little ole' you in there.  I quickly learned that I wouldn't be able to workout during pregnancy.  Running was ruled out within the first trimester.  Exercise is such a good outlet and I haven't been able to take advantage of it for months.  Even walking has become a challenge for me these days.  I feel overly exerted from walking through the grocery store.  Tasks that used to be so simple are now challenging for me.  What happened to the old Jamie who had lots of energy and loved to cook for her sweet husband?  Who cleaned the house often and did crafts in her spare time?  I've been sick for months.  I've thrown up more times than I can count.  My back aches in places I never knew existed.  My feet burn all night every night.  And I cry all the time.  I feel helpless and slightly worthless at times.  This isn't the "Me" I want to be.  I can't do everything for myself and others that I used to be able to do.  I feel like a burden to your Dad, yet he has been nothing but kind and supportive through all the tears.  And you know what the truth is behind all this?  The truth is that I can't wait to be your Mom and I love you more than words can say.  I can't express the excitement and joy I feel to welcome you to our family.  I feel so blessed that the Lord has trusted me to be your mother.  I know that none of the crazy symptoms and setbacks could ever change the way I feel about you.  It may not have been the easiest journey, but it has always been worth it.  You are the prize princess, and I couldn't be more honored.  I hope one day that you too will make these small sacrifices to experience the joys of motherhood.  I know my love for you will only grow.  It is through these trials that I have grown to appreciate you and the bonds we've made.  I love you baby girl.  You've always been worth it.