Goodness gracious! Mom needs to be better about posting. You're almost 7 weeks old now and growing so fast. you're really losing that newborn look and growing into a toddler face. Dad and I are trying so hard to get social smiles from you! .. You're kind of stubborn though.. But you do give us lots out sleepy smiles and they're more previous than gold!
This last week you had your first shower with dad and you loved out! Dad enjoys this time with you and now he takes every opportunity he can to steal you for shower time! I love to watch you two together. Your dad had such a way with you, it's beautiful really. I'm a blessed girl to have two amazing people in my life!
You are such a princess Nora Grace. We just enjoyed your first Halloween and I got to make your costume! It was so fun for me and i hope to make this a tradition!
Mom really wants to continue breastfeeding you but things have gotten kinda rocky. You seem to prefer a bottle and I think my supply is decreasing. I've tried to power pump and hopefully this will increase my supply. I don't wanna stop. Breastfeeding is important to me and I will feel slightly like I failed if I have to start supplementing now. I pray that things will get better and you and I can enjoy this bond for many more months to come.
I love you baby girl and I'm so blessed to have you. I've never once missed my old life. You make it real. You make our meaningful. You make it worth it.

Love always,
Mom

Baby girl, you hold my heart. I love you more than I knew was possible. You've given my life so much meaning. You bring so much joy to your dad and myself and we love being a family.

We took you last night to Dad's missionary reunion. We love to show you off. This is the second time I meet president and sister Evans, both times they have raved about your humble dad as a missionary. From their testimonies I know that your Dad was a missionary who gave 110%. I've always known that, but it's beautiful to hear their reassurance in realizing that they are still touched by his example and dedicated service 2 years later. Nora,I love your dad so much. I hope you always see the love we have for each other and how happy you too will be one day if you marry an obedient, service-oriented, compassionate, and caring young man. Our Father in Heaven could not have sent me a more perfect husband. And now luckily, we have a perfect daughter to share our joys and happiness with. Thank you for coming to us and making or lives complete. We love you Nora Grace.

Love,
Mom

Happy Birthday Baby Girl

Baby Nora,

Your birthday finally came!  I can't put into words all of the emotions I felt on September 17th, 2012.  You are the most precious, heaven-sent angel I have ever met.  Your Daddy and I are so thrilled to have you here and we love you more than words can say.  My heart is so full of pure joy and pride whenever I look at you and remember that you are my little girl.  That Heavenly Father sent you to me and trusted me as your earth Mom.  Bringing you to this worls was such a surreal experience.  I felt like Superwoman in the delivery room.  And as soon as you arrived, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with love, pride, and satisfaction.  Labor and delivery was such a hard thing, but it was the most worthwhile day of my life.  In those moments my life immediately changed from selfish to selfless.  You were my new focus and my whole new life.  We're so blessed to have such a perfect angel in our family.  We love you Nora and we are so thankful you are here and healthy, but mostly, we are so happy that you are ours.  Everyone loves you and your spirit is already captivating.  I love spending my days with you and I love taking care of you.  Life is so good.  Thank you for your company.  You are completely worth the 9 months of sickness and pain and the changes to my body.  I love you sweet girl and I always will.

Love your Momma

 

The Last Stretch

Sweet Baby Girl, your due date is drawing near! We have 2.5 weeks left, but your Daddy and I are hoping that you come sooner.  I want as much time to recover as possible before we head to California for Uncle Chris' farewell. 

I am so glad to have your Daddy back.  Things have been so wonderful since he has been home.  We have always had such a strong relationship, but his 4 weeks away just made it even stronger.  I am so lucky to have him as a husband and you are going to be SO lucky to have him as a Daddy.  His Dad, Grandpa Boyd, gave him a blessing the other day and he was told that he would be a very helpful Daddy.  That makes me smile and thankful for such a willing, loving, and dedicated husband and Daddy.  I want you to know how important it is to marry somebody who houses these same characteristics one day. 

I love you so much, and I know it's only going to double when I finally get to meet you.  I can't believe we have been together for over 9 months now.  I feel so close to you spiritually.  My heart swells when I think about holding you for the first time and seeing your beautiful face.  Your Dad and I feel so blessed.  There are so many people who want to bring children to this earth but are unable.  We constantly thank our Heavenly Father for giving you to us.  It's such a beautiful miracle to have a daughter who is part of the both of us.  We are a true eternal family.  We are so excited to meet you Nora.  I can't wait to be your Mom and I hope that I do a good job.  I hope that you can be proud of me, I hope that your Dad will be proud of me as a wife and mother and I also hope that our Heavenly Father will be proud of me as your earthly mother.  I know that I will need his help every single day though, to be the kind of Mother that he would have me be. 

Things have been kind of hard for Mom the last few weeks.  I haven't slept well for weeks.  My body is tired and I don't have the energy to finish the chores around the house that I want to before you get here.  My legs are so swollen from retaining water and by the end of the day, I feel like an elephant.  You are sitting so low that my bladder is constantly being pressed on.  I have to go to the bathroom at least once every hour, and sometimes twice.  I get really sore and tired just from doing the easy things that I used to do everyday.  I've been having contractions every single day and they make me very sore from the tightness in my chest to the soreness in my pelvis.  My back is very tight from trying to hold you up and there are knots all up and down my spine.  These and many more reasons make me so very excited for you to come home with us.  You're getting so big now - big enough to sustain yourself outside the womb.  It's so surreal.  The moment I have been waiting for for the last 9 months is finally around the corner.  I am ecstatic.  I am also very nervous.  I am scared for the delivery.  Mommy has never had a very strong tolerance for pain, and I know that delivery is very painful.  I hope that things go smoothly and we bring you here healthy and strong.  I hope that I can recover easily and quickly and be able to do all the things with you right away that I have been dreaming about.  You mean the world to me and I can't wait to hold you, feed you and bond with you every minute of every day. 

Baby girl, I will see you so soon and I want you to know that I love you more than I have words to express.
Daddy and I cannot wait to hold your little head in the palm of our hands and call you by your name and kiss you over and over.  Daddy always talks about seeing your first yawn.  Make sure to give him a really cute yawn.  We will see you ever so soon.  Stay strong until the day that we meet you.

Love always and forever,
Mommy.

31 Weeks

Baby Girl,

I am surprised at how big you are getting.  Especially in the last week.  You seemed to have doubled in size! We are at 31 weeks currently and it's quickly coming to the end.  Your Daddy is currently away at Field Training for the Air Force ROTC.  He will be gone for a total of 4 weeks and we have no communication during those 4 weeks.  I miss your Daddy so much baby girl.  I certainly hope you marry someone as impressive and loving as your Father one day.  He is my biggest hero and the love of my life.  I am looking forward to the growth we will see from this experience.  And I am thankful for the time I have to spend with you alone.  This time apart from your Daddy has given You and I a chance to bond and I honestly feel closer to you because of it.  You've been so much more active and it's comforting knowing that you are healthy, active and moving around.  You're spirit has definitely manifested itself and I love it.  Your Daddy left a voicemail before he left for us to listen to.  I play it for you each night so that you can hear Daddy's voice and you always respond.  As soon as you hear Daddy talk, you start to kick and squirm.  I can tell you miss him too.  It excites you to hear your wonderful Daddy's voice.  And it should.  He'll be the greatest man you'll ever know.  I can't wait for you guys to meet.

Every little move you make is so profound.  I can see your head as it pushes against my belly.  I can feel your little arms and legs pressing out and manifesting against my skin.  You make me so happy Nora Grace.  I can't wait to be your Mom and I hope I remember to include the Lord in our relationship so that I can be guided to raise you and teach you all that I need to .  So that I will be patient at all times.  Even when it seems impossible.  I'll need your help and I know the Lord will help our whole family if we dedicate ourselves to him.

9 weeks to go princess and I am loving all the details of preparing for Motherhood.  I can't wait to meet you.  Send your Daddy some love at this time and keep me lots of company!  Keep up the acrobatics because I love the time we have together.

Love always and forever,
Mom

7 Months

It's crazy to think how far we've come since that day that I saw those two pink lines on that stick.  Many days of sickness have passed, many moments of joy.  Many tears, both of happiness and sadness.  Many doctor's visits, pictures, work days, and lazy Saturdays.  Many moments that begin to fade away, and a few we will never forget.  Literally, months have passed us by.  So much has happened to bring us to where we are today.  The truth is that pregnancy has been hard.  It's been hard on me physically.  Becoming so big isn't really something that anybody is comfortable with.  Even though I know it's for a good cause, it's still hard to see my body transform.  Thanks to your amazing Daddy, I don't doubt that he thinks I am still beautiful.  He loves the pregnant me.  But I still have a hard time accepting pregnant me.  Not only does my body look different, but it works differently than it did before there was a little ole' you in there.  I quickly learned that I wouldn't be able to workout during pregnancy.  Running was ruled out within the first trimester.  Exercise is such a good outlet and I haven't been able to take advantage of it for months.  Even walking has become a challenge for me these days.  I feel overly exerted from walking through the grocery store.  Tasks that used to be so simple are now challenging for me.  What happened to the old Jamie who had lots of energy and loved to cook for her sweet husband?  Who cleaned the house often and did crafts in her spare time?  I've been sick for months.  I've thrown up more times than I can count.  My back aches in places I never knew existed.  My feet burn all night every night.  And I cry all the time.  I feel helpless and slightly worthless at times.  This isn't the "Me" I want to be.  I can't do everything for myself and others that I used to be able to do.  I feel like a burden to your Dad, yet he has been nothing but kind and supportive through all the tears.  And you know what the truth is behind all this?  The truth is that I can't wait to be your Mom and I love you more than words can say.  I can't express the excitement and joy I feel to welcome you to our family.  I feel so blessed that the Lord has trusted me to be your mother.  I know that none of the crazy symptoms and setbacks could ever change the way I feel about you.  It may not have been the easiest journey, but it has always been worth it.  You are the prize princess, and I couldn't be more honored.  I hope one day that you too will make these small sacrifices to experience the joys of motherhood.  I know my love for you will only grow.  It is through these trials that I have grown to appreciate you and the bonds we've made.  I love you baby girl.  You've always been worth it.      

25 Week Update

Baby Girl,

You are growing so much and everyday I am amazed at the little person you are becoming.  You love to kick these days, and it doesn't bother me one bit! I love to know that you are active and well.  It's exciting that I get to take you everywhere I go and you can hear everything I say .. or should that worry me? You are about the size of an ear of corn these days (11.8 inches).  Your growing lungs continue to practice breathing skills, and they are developing immensely to be able to perform the necessary functions required to sustain life outside of the womb.  You're starting to thicken up .. right along with Mom! Your face is filling out and as well as your body.  I can't wait to squeeze your little cheeks! Your muscles are growing, your bones are strengthening, and your organs are continuing to develop.

We had an ultrasound last week and the Ultrasound Technician checked for many things.  She checked that your heart was developing and at the correct stage.  She checked to make sure your bladder was there and that your kidneys were in the correct place.  She checked your spine and ruled out spina bifida.  The measured you probably 7 different ways to make sure you were all "up-to-date" with your growing.  I was comforted to know that about 90% of birth defects have been ruled out.

It was so fun to see you move around and try and suck on your hands and feet.  To see you swallow and do normal baby things.  I love you so much and can't wait to meet you. But we need you to stay in there a little while longer and continue to grow healthy and strong so you can be ready for your life here on earth.  There are so many things we want to do when you arrive and so many adventures we want to take, but you need to be physically ready so hold on to your diaper and stay put for about 15 12 more weeks.

Here are the pictures from your most recent ultrasound.  I sure do enjoy these sneak-peeks of my baby.

You are perfect

Nora,

Your Daddy and I love the name that we have chosen for you.  We love to call you by your name already.  It makes us the bond between the 3 of us even stronger.  We can't wait to meet you and put a beautiful face to your name.

The last couple weeks have been really hard on me.  I was starting to feel better, but I am feeling more sick again - and some days even more than before.  As long as you are healthy though, I will be just fine. Also accompanying the last few weeks has been bouts of anxiety. I know it is common for a Mommy to worry, but I am already a worrier at heart.  I worry about you all the time.  I want you to be healthy and strong and able in every way.  I pray for you everyday, but still worry.  I have to rest assured that you are in the Lord's hands and he will provide you with the body that he sees fit for you.  I still pray that it is a strong one full of ability.  I want you to be able to accomplish all the goals you have in life.  Every Mother hopes for the perfect baby, and I am no exception.  But I also know that there is no defined "perfection".  I remember the day your Aunt Sydney was born.  It was a very emotional time for our family.  I am ashamed to say that I was afraid I would love her less due to her differences.  She wasn't "normal" per se.  But as time went on and she grew, I was blessed to have my heart softened and expanded to hold so much love for such a truly perfect daughter of God.  I am thankful for the blessing she has been in my life to teach me acceptance, tolerance, and love toward every human being no matter what they look like.  This applies to you too Nora.  I will love you no matter what.  You will always be perfect to me because you are perfect to your Heavenly Father. 

I love you already and will continue to love you more and more.  I love the time we have together including the many times throughout the day that I get to feel your kicks and movements.  You are a joy to have around and I know we will always feel joy in our hearts for you and your place in our family.  Thank you for making us a family and making me a mother. 

Love Mommy

Sweet Baby,

Where has the time gone?  I've been carrying you around for 20 (almost 21) weeks now.  It seemed we would never reach this point, now it's here and I have absolutely no idea how it happened.  It seems like just yesterday I was telling your Daddy that we were expecting a baby!  I love having you with me.  I love that I can feel you.  About 5 minutes ago you decided to have a poking session with me.  I would poke you, and you would kick me back.  It went on for a good minute. You are currently kicking just to the left of my belly button.  You are so fun! I wouldn't mind if you kicked all day long! I love those little love taps (: It reminds me that you are alive, active and in good physical condition.  Sometimes... I think it's your way of telling me you love me..

Mother's day was this last Sunday.  It was a special day for me.  I got to reflect on a lot of things.  One of my biggest questions of the day was; Am I a Mother or not this Mother's day?  I came to the conclusion, that even though I have no children to show for it yet, I am a Mother.  I am sustaining your life as your Mother.  I am providing you with shelter, nourishment, and love.  Even though we haven't met, I am still so in love with you and cannot wait to finally meet you.  We are sharing a body, and even though it's hard to see the numbers on the scale constantly increasing and to see the once toned areas of my body jiggle like jello, I enjoy this time we have together.  I hope you hear my voice and know it's the voice of your Mother.  I am your Mother and always will be. 

I pray, constantly, that I will be a good Mother.  It worries me that I don't have what it takes to raise you the right way nor to be the perfect Mom.  But I know, that there is no such thing as perfect.  I may not clean the house perfectly, cook dinner perfectly, handle the finances perfectly, or act perfectly, but I will always love you perfectly; with all of my heart.  I have gained a strong testimony of the Lord's hand in my life.  He is here and always helping your Dad and I.  We are so blessed to be a part of this Gospel and to have the knowledge that we do.  I know that through my steadfastness in prayer, scripture study, and Temple attendance, he will be there to help me in those areas that I can't make perfect on my own.  He will be satisfied with me at the end of the day when I have given it all I've got.  Even if "all I've got" consists of getting you and I showered and fed for the day.  If one day the chores go undone, he isn't going to love me any less.  He might ask that I try harder the next day, and I hope I always will.  But he will remember the good things I have done that day.

I hope these thoughts stick with you through your times of trial and tribulation.  And heaven bless you to not expect perfection from yourself.  It's impossible baby doll.  Your best is the only true "perfect".  We love you and always will.  The Lord will be there to help you and the Spirit will be there to guide you.  If you mess up along the way, we (your earthly and Heavenly parents) will be there to help you up, dust you off and to get you back on your way.  We have all been in those positions. Obviously, your Mother is a perfect example of this. But with constant effort to strengthen your relationship with your Father in Heaven and your brother Jesus Christ, you will have the protection and assistance you need to overcome your trials.  Whether they be big, small, easy or hard.  We fall, it's inevitable.  But we get back up and pray for strength to see that crack in the pavement more clearly next time.

I love you and always will.  I pray you have a wise mind, a compassionate heart, and a pure spirit.
I pray for strength in your growth and development both physically and spiritually.
May you always turn to your loving parents as well as the Lord with your questions and needs. 
We love you forever and ever.

Love,
Your Mother

Movement and Motion!

Baby Girl,

You have me on pins and needles most of the day waiting for your next kick! I am able to feel you moving around for sure now.  Now that I know it's you moving in there and not just indigestion, I realized that I probably could feel you earlier on, but was unaware of what those funny little flutters were.  Now it's as if you are teasing me! I love to feel your little kicks and movements and I wait and wait and then when I am least expecting it, you give me a little love tap.  And let me tell you, I do love it!  Daddy, on the other hand, is pretty stinkin' jealous that he can't feel you.  I always announce when you're moving around, and he runs over and presses his hand against my belly.. but then when I feel it most, he feels nothing.  We've concluded that it's just too weak for him to feel from the outside.  But I can't wait until he can enjoy your movement too!  Your first kicks that I felt for sure were on May 5th, 2012.  This is the day Daddy and I celebrated our first anniversary (because it landed on a Sunday this year).  We've had so much fun thinking about you for 20 long weeks, and in just 20 more we will get to meet you. 

In Daddy's anniversary gift basket I included a little onesie that says "Daddy's Sweetie".  It's adorable.  We are excited to spoil you! Your Grandma Michelle told me she bought you some outfits the other day.  You are gonna be so spoiled by all of your grandparents!  Keep in mind that you are the first Grandkid to my Mom and Dad, first Great Grandkid to my Grandparent's on the Ruesch and Wiser side, and the first Great Great Grandkid to Grandpa and Grandma Pug! Everyone is so excited to meet you! On Daddy's side, there are already lots of Grandkids, but you are extra special to Grandma Connie because you are her first real Grandchild.  She is already buying you toys and CD's and lots of cool things.  So, are you ready to make your debut yet or what?

I was having some very intense back pain last night and this morning when I woke up.  I stayed home from work for a couple extra hours to try and sleep it off.  I am unable to determine what is inducing the pain. I exercised yesterday so that could be the culprit, however, I am having moderate cramping too.  I am a little confused and nervous, so if you could give me some kicks today, I would greatly appreciate it.  I just worry about you all the time so I need you to let me know that you are doing well in there Sweet Pea.

This weekend is our 20 week ultrasound, that means we get to see you again! We love seeing you on the screen.  So much in fact, that your Daddy wants to buy an Ultrasound Machine.  He is a silly dude.  He just loves you.  We can't wait to learn more details about our sweet girl and get some more pictures!  Don't be shy, embrace the paparazzi!

We love you so much Sweet Nora
Love Mommy

My Baby Girl

Well baby girl, we finally know you are gonna be our sweet daughter.  Finding out this big news was by far the best birthday present mom could have ever asked for.  It was such an amazing experience to see you move and kick around inside of me.  I just love that you are so active and healthy in there.  Telling your Dad and all our friends about you was such a thrill.  I bought Daddy a cupcake with a secret filling inside... pink for a girl, and blue for a boy.  I brought it to my Birthday dinner where all of our friends were and there he took a BIG bite.  When everyone saw the pink, we all shouted "Hooray!".  We've decided to name you Nora.  We love calling you by name and planning things out for your arrival.  Your Daddy likes to cry when he thinks about his baby girl.  All I know, is that you will steal his heart and have him wrapped around your finger ... take it from a girl who has been in that same position.  Your Daddy loves to spoil, and he already confesses that he won't be able to say "No" to your shopping habits.  Sounds like you're definitely your Momma's Girl.  We love you princess.  Here are some pictures of you.  Look at how big and developed you are getting!

Your Arm

Your Foot

Your Face

You are a girl!

My precious baby girl.

It makes me giggle watching your ultrasound DVD.  You are so active! We love to watch you move around.  Seeing your little mouth swallow is amazing to me.  The other night I laid down on my tummy on the bed, soon after I realized that by laying in that position, I could feel your little kicks from the pressure on my uterus! It was so magical! Daddy even got to feel one kick before you decided to stop.  That was such a fun moment for us.  We are so in love with you Nora.  We can't wait to meet you.  But stay healthy and strong until that time comes. 

Love always

Mom

He or She?

Baby Dear,

I apologize for the lack of recent posts.  Mommy has been truly busy.  Dad and I have been working a lot and trying to save up some extra money to spoil you with! It's also Finals Week for Mom, and although it is stressful, I am so excited that the semester is over! School is good, but Mom is tired of being a full time employee, student and pregnant egg! It is a tiring life.  I am excited to have more time to spend thinking about you, talking to you, and getting ready for your arrival!  Some exciting things have happened lately that I want to tell you all about....

I've been experiencing some intense abdominal pain for the last month.  It started as just a sore feeling, but it grew into sharp pains that almost sent me home from work.  My tummy has been very sensitive to the touch and very crampy on the inside. I just shrugged it off at first, assuming it was just normal.  It started to get worse to where I could barely move at times.  I decided to call the Doctor.  Daddy and I went in to see Dr. Holmes and he took a look.  Thankfully, you are very healthy and no harm is done to you. I was very nervous that I may have hurt you.  Turns out everything is OK I was just having contractions.  The Doctor told me to stop any running or walking for exercise and to keep my walking to a minimal.  Great.  This ruins all my plans of staying fit while pregnant.  But I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe.  The next thing was exciting.. the Doctor said he thought you might be a .... are you ready? ... A GIRL!  I was very excited, even though he wasn't sure, I immediately pictured you as my little Norah Grace, swaddled in my arms.  Dad was not convinced, so he wanted me to schedule an appointment to have an official gender test done with supersonic equipment.  He is a silly guy.  That night, Daddy and I were lounging on the couch watching TV and I realized I could feel you! You felt like a little goldfish swimming around in my belly! I can't quite explain the feeling, but it felt like butterflies.  It made me so excited! Thank you, now... move more so I can feel you ALL the time!

Our appointment to find out if you are for sure our little girl or boy is tomorrow, on Mom's birthday. What a special present for me (:  I am one lucky mom and I am so excited to find out more about you!  Girl or Boy, can't wait to know so Daddy and I can start to buy you precious things.  We are so excited to meet you and can't believe we are almost half-way there! You are so special to us and we love you.  We can't wait to meet the most amazing thing that ever happened to us.  Stay healthy and strong baby boo.

Love Always,
Mama

16 Weeks

I am now 16 weeks and you are now 4.5 inches long weighing in at about 3.5 ounces! I can't believe how big you are getting! I really want you to start making some movement in there so I can feel you! I know I have about 2 more weeks for that, but maybe these butterflies are really you? I can't tell if I get butterflies just from thinking about you and how excited you make me, or if it's really you moving around like a little fish! I thought I would tell you about some of the accomplishments you have made so far! From now on you will be growing at a much quicker rate and hopefully mom will see some belly growth as a result!

Your muscles are now developing to the point that you can hold your head up in a straight line. Your facial muscles can display a variety of expressions. So go ahead and show off your cute face next time we take a look!

Your cute little fingernails are well formed and you are emptying your bladder every 40 to 45 minutes .. much like mommy! You are also covered in "lanugo", fine hairs that cover your little body. Your ears are no longer on your neck, they have moved to their proper position on your head!

Next time we see the doctor, he should be able to tell us if you are a Mrs. Ericksen or Mr. Ericksen and we just can't wait. My maternal instincts have switched from thinking you were a boy to a girl. My intuition must not be working properly. Either way, I couldn't be more excited. Your daddy and I just wanna get to know you and learn all we can about how to make you happy. We can't wait to start spoiling you so we need to know if you're a girly girl or a tom boy! We love you so much and we get more and more excited for your arrival every day!

Love always, Your Mom.

Your Body: A Gift From God

I was reading a blog today and came across a very touching and special post. I know there is no definitive answer to your gender, but I want to share this now anyway because I think it is applicable whether you are a precious boy or a sweet little girl. I hope to always remember this post and to turn back to it and read it to you as you experience tough trials and the changes of life. I hope you remember the words of this post and that no matter what, your Father and I will always love you.

Your body is such a precious gift given to you from God. It is already changing everyday and performing amazing functions. It is sustaining your life. Change is inevitable, and that's how our creator knew it would be. He finds beauty in our growth and development. Your dad and I also find beauty in your growth and development as we see the change and progresses that you make daily.

In today's world and society, there is a much distorted portrayal of women and their beauty. We can no longer see the natural beauty in ourselves and frequently, in others as well. We have disconnected with our spirits and our "us" that Jesus and Heavenly Father love so much. The medias depictions of what women look like are false. They are artificially "beautified". They want you to think that you have to be skinny, sexy, and gorgeous. But the truth is, you are gorgeous. You don't need to be skinny to be beautiful. You are perfect just the way your Father in Heaven made you; the way your earthly parents love and adore you. It's hard growing up in this society, but you are strong. Remember these words. True beauty comes from within. It comes from showing the light of Christ and serving those around you. It comes from wearing your smile and dressing modestly. It comes from sharing your testimony and having confidence and integrity. I grew up with low self-esteem and had a very poor image of myself and my body. When I got engaged to your Dad, I was afraid of what he would think of me when he would see me without make-up on. I later realized, that your Dad saw my natural beauty and taught me that I was and am still beautiful. I am so blessed to be married to your Dad because he knows and sees my true beauty, even more than I do and he reminds me of it every single day. He loves me with or without makeup, dressed-up or in sweats, pregnant and chubby, he loves me the same. He doesn't expect me to be like the women in magazines, he knows that those are false portrayals of a woman. We pray that you will also find a worthy spouse one day that will remind you either of your own true beauty, or the true beauty of a woman. I want to read these words to you often so you always remember that you are beautiful and you don't need to compromise any of your happiness to become what you see in the media. We love you so much.

Your body houses a spirit.


The spirit changes constantly with intelligence and progression.


Your body will change with your spirit, constantly.


On days where you will feel heavy, emotionally, so will your body.


On days where you feel energetic, emotionally, so will your body.


Your body will change like the earth changes, and if you are quiet you will feel the earth's changes in your own body. And like the earth, your body is cyclic. This system of cycles is very important for your body and spirit, it will pull out dark, deep-seated emotions that might hurt you --even if you're not conscious of them-- and flush them out, literally out of your body and out of your mind.

This cycle that will occur in your body is Grace.


Allow yourself to be cyclic. And feel cyclic.


You will be tempted to coerce your body into staying the same. You might hear about unhealthy perimeters to keep your body within; numbers and measurements. You might feel a need to restore your body to a certain age where you think your body belongs--even though you would never will your spirit backwards to that same place. You will hear lies that unless your body stays the same you are not good enough.


These are the worst lies ever told since the beginning of time. The worst lies always involve a woman's body. They always involve a woman's body and her inabilities. And these lies, they've hurt a lot of people. You don't have to believe them. In fact, you can believe more than the sum of all these lies.

Your body is not about what you have too much of. Your body is not about what you wish you had more of. Your body isn't even about an appearance, it's more intelligent than that. It's about truth; the physical manifestation of what you know inside.

It's not about what days you will take it to the gym. It's not about what you foods you will refuse it. It's not about how you can pluck it, paint it, or shape it with plastic. It's about how you feel about its worth--and your spirit's worth--and those sentiments will be your guide on how you treat it.


Your body has been changing since the day you were born, let it continue to change. Let it fatten, let it thin, let it bloom, let it blossom, let it shrink, let it wrinkle, let it die.


And celebrate it all.

Remember these words always as you grow and change. Remember that you are beautiful because you are a child of your Heavenly Father. We love you and look forward to all your growth and change in life.

Love, Mom

April 2, 2012

Your ultrasound went great! Your little heart was beating so strong! Good for you baby! Since it was going so fast (150 BPM) I tend to think maybe you are a little girl?.. Am I right? The sad news is we won't find out for 4 more weeks until your 18 week ultrasound! But after that, things are just gonna fly by I feel.
This past weekend was General Conference. How beautiful it was. We were able to watch all 4 sessions and even got to attend the Conference Center for Sunday Afternoon session. Thanks to your Grandma Connie for being in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and getting us great tickets! There was so much to learn about parenting in all the sessions. So many amazing talks were given and I am thankful for the spirit and the answers to my prayers for wonderful messages. How they all knew that I was needing their talks is beyond me. Dad and I were very surprised at how all the talks seemed to be applicable in our lives today. Conference is so special. When we were at the session, we all stood as President Thomas S. Monson entered the room, I cannot explain the spirit I felt as he and the rest of the first presidency came in. I became overwhelmed and began to find tears filling my eyes. I am so happy and so blessed to be apart of this gospel. As your mom, I want you to know that I know I am nowhere near perfect, but that through the atonement, and with the help of the Lord, I can become more like him. I want to be a perfect mother and I promise I am going to give it my all. I promise to try my best and always keep the Lord amongst our relationships. He will help me to help you in all things. I cannot wait to meet you little bug. Love you so much. Stay strong!

Love Always,
Momma

March 30, 2012

Hey little one, today is another big day! We have another ultrasound and check-up! I always look forward to ultrasounds because that means I get to see you and learn a little more about you. Since I can't feel you yet, it's hard to imagine you really in there. But as my tummy is starting to make an appearance, we know you're in there and growing! Make some big kicks soon so I can feel you! I know 14 weeks is a little early, but I am dying to know if you are my son or daughter. Daddy and I both had dreams this week that you were a girl, and then Daddy had a dream last night that you were a boy. I can't wait to find out. Our new house is suiting us well and we are loving the extra space. I cannot wait to start buying you things and decorating for your arrival! Daddy and I decided not to really buy much for you until our Anniversary which is pretty much only a month away! On May 6th we are going to have a special date and then go shopping for you! It was Daddy's idea. I am glad he is so thoughtful and so excited for you. Your uncle Chris is visiting right now for General Conference. It is fun to see him. It makes me sad knowing that you won't meet him until you are about 2 when he comes home from his mission. He is a great person and he will love you so much! We are excited to listen to the Prophet and apostles this weekend. It is such a special time. I remember last conference getting the answer that it was a good time to start trying for you. I had never had a prayer answered so vividly and I try to always remember how strongly I felt whenever I get discouraged about money or timing. I hope their are some great messages this weekend for this Mommy-to-be. All in all, we can't wait to meet you baby. We're 1/3 of the way there. Keep growing strong and remember, we love you always and forever.

Love, Mom

March 15, 2012

Another week down and we're up to 12 weeks now. I have been wondering a lot about your gender lately. Are you a little girl or a little boy? I hope the Doctor will be able to tell at our next appointment! I don't wanna wait much longer! We are moving into our new house tomorrow! A place for you to have your own nursery. I have been so excited about decorating your nursery. It will be such a fun project for me. Your Daddy wants to build you a crib and a changing table. He sure is a talented man. We are so excited about our new house, especially cause it means you are coming soon! One more week and I am out of the first trimester! Wahoo! I hope you will stop making me sick soon. I wanna be able to feel you. I am so excited for that. It will make this whole pregnancy even MORE real. Some days, I am still shocked thinking about you, our child, growing inside of me. We went to the Temple last night and we performed sealings. I couldn't stop thinking about you. The Sealer told me that you would be a choice child. The spirit was so strong. We are so blessed to have this gospel and to know that you will be sealed to us for time and all eternity. We love you so much. Keep growing up nice and strong.

Love, Mama

March 6, 2012

Last night was the first time I have actually dreamed about you! In my dream, you were a beautiful little girl. You grew and developed so fast. At just 4 weeks old you were waving to us and smiling so big. It was so fun to dream about you. I hope more dreams come along! Your Aunt Brittney has had more dreams about you than I have. I once read that whatever gender you dream your baby will be, it will turn out opposite. Does that mean you are a little boy? I am 10.5 weeks now! I finished your fun chalkboard and can't wait to take our first weekly picture! You make me so happy, even when I am throwing up everything I eat. It's all worth it to me. Stay strong and healthy!

Love Momma

Baby Heart Beat!

March 1, 2012

We got to see you little one! It's amazing to me how you are so small and we could see you so clearly! The doctor showed us your strong heart beat! Way to go! At first you were taking a little nap, but with some probing, we got you to wake up. You started kicking your legs! Daddy thinks you are gonna be a soccer player. You even sucked on your thumb! It was so cute and we couldn't stop smiling! It all became so real after seeing you so real and alive. Now we have to wait another 6 weeks to find out your gender... We think you are a boy. That's what the old wive's tales tell us anyway. You are healthy and growing fast just like you are supposed to. Keep up the good work! We can't wait for your next picture in 4 weeks! See you soon!

Love, Momma

The Big Day

February 29th 2012

Today is the BIG day! Well, one of many big days. It's the one I have been looking forward to since I found out you were in my tummy. We get to hear your heart beat! I have had a little countdown on my phone's home screen reminding me EVERY day how many days are left until our ultrasound. Today it finally says zero!

We will go visit Dr. Holmes at 3:00 PM after work. Daddy and I are so excited for this. It makes me a little scared though, the thought of not seeing your heart beat. I pray that you are growing healthy and strong and that you have a big heart beat. We want you to be healthy in every way. We love you so much already and can't wait for the bonds we'll develop in the next 6.5 months!

I have been really sick lately. It's been hard to keep any food down. Daddy is so sweet. He always runs to the store and buys me what I am craving at the moment. Mostly, I crave orange juice, apple juice, and toast! Right now I am trying to survive by sipping on ginger ale (which I don't even like) because it's the only thing helping my tummy. Daddy likes to talk to you and ask you to be nice to me and not make me sick. However, I know that it means you are healthy when I am sick, so I am tolerant of it.

Stay strong little baby! We can't wait to hear your baby heart beat this afternoon!

Love Momma

8 Weeks

Today Mommy is 8 weeks. That makes you about the size of a large kidney bean.

You have been making me more and more sick lately. However, I have done quite the amount of reading on the matter and I appreciate the fact that my morning sickness is a sign of your health. I usually wake up feeling like I am going to spew. Then I force a piece of toast down my throat and after 30 minutes, it tends to help. By the time I am headed out the door, the nausea is usually back. Throughout the day at work I am searching for crackers to calm my yucky tummy. I haven't had too many episodes of vomiting to report. But that's not to say there won't be more.

Sometimes I wonder if there are 2 little fellas down there cause I feel like I am already showing. 8 weeks and showing for a first pregnancy is not common. It could be due to the fact that I was "technically" underweight before you came along so my body may be overcompensating. But my Mom told me that with her first pregnancy she didn't even show until she was like 4 or 5 months. So tell me, what's going on down there? Why you making me chubby already?

I wonder if you are a girl or a boy. I feel like you are a little Boy. But I could be wrong. We did a home gender test and it said boy, but nobody really knows at this point. Either way, I will love you the same! I can't wait to be your Momma!

We are so anxious for your ultrasound coming up in 12 days! We can't wait to hear your heart beat! Keep growing strong and healthy so that we can hear it loud and clear!
Love, Mom

In the Beginning

Baby,

As the days go by, this pregnancy becomes more and more of a reality. Daddy and I can't wait to meet you later this year. You are such a dream come true. We have been wanting to be parents for quite a few months now and it was a little tricky getting you here. We feel so blessed to know that the Lord trusts us with someone as special as you. We understand that you are first, Heavenly Father's child, just as we are. But we will be your earthly parents and hopefully give you everything you need here on earth to grow into a healthy and wise adult. We know that we don't have it all worked out, but we also know that the Lord will take care of us and you. We can't wait to be an eternal family.

I can't wait to be a mommy. I have aspired to be a mother since I was a young child. I loved to play with my dolls and play house with them. My love for children grew as I was blessed with many younger cousins. I feel I have always had a way with kids.

Seeing your Daddy with children brings tears to my eyes. He already loves you so much. We tell you ALL the time but we are sure that you cannot hear us yet, due to your lack of ears. He can't wait to be the best Dad and to play with you all the time. He is one special person and you already have a special place in his heart.

It is amazing to me how much you grow and develop everyday. You are the size of a large blueberry these days. If you are a boy, I hope you look just like your Dad. He was the cutest little boy I'd ever seen.

Mommy loves you.
Stay strong and healthy.